Saturday 6 July 2013

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 11: Gargeloyles

At one time, hundreds of years ago, in the waterways of Europe lived microscopic creatures that lay in wait for people to collect up and gargle the water containing them - for only when being gargled were they able to do their bidding.  Which was to attach themselves to the oesophagus of their victim and from there find their way up past the nose to the brain where, in their millions they were able to take over a person’s brain and control them. 

These creatures, known as Gargeloyles, aimed to one day take over the entire human race.  As they infected one human, so that human would encourage another to gargle infected water, thus increasing the number of Gargeloyle puppets. 

Only a few areas are known to have had Gargeloyle populations that managed to take control of a number of humans.  There was one village where an infected boy of seven was able to convince first his siblings and friends to join him in gargling to make funny noises and then several adults before something strange was suspected.  Elsewhere a whole district of a town became Gargeloyle before they were discovered.

Initially, seeing these events as an invasion of evil forces, the victims were slaughtered and their bodies burned.  Although this probably did successfully kill the Gargeloyles present, it was not ideal for the victim.  But then how could a microscopic being be stopped before anyone knew creatures so tiny existed?

Gargeloyles were eventually stopped by a wizard passing through one of the affected areas.  Using the powers only wizards have she was able to feel and then see these tiny creatures both in the water and in the brains of the infected puppets. 

She then removed them all by force before enlarging each and turning them to stone, showing their grotesque forms to the world, including the relieved victims.  Most shattered during the process, creating great hills of stone, but many remained and were used in municipal architecture and churches as water spouts, their names soon being corrupted into gargoyle.  The wizard then travelled the world searching out and destroying Gargeloyles and other troublesome microscopic beings.

And that is both how a menacing little beast was made extinct and a cornerstone of gothic architecture invented.

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