250 Words: Vultures circling round the dying

Waiting outside seeing only percentage signs and what they bring; planning their route around the store; eyeing up the competitors.  Telling the press, friends, anyone who will listen how sad the whole thing is.

Swooping in, the smell of warm flesh in the air, the taste of it in their mouths.  Elbows soon become weapons as they scan the shelves and home in on stuff they need, stuff they don’t need, any and all stuff reduced.  Savings feed them, whatever their background.  Savings satiate the desire to amass stuff.

China smashes, people fall, baskets fill, voices rise, wallets empty, tills ring hollow as life is extracted, the coffin already made.

And the helpless staff watch on, knots tightening around their hearts as the days pass, each home time potentially the last.  Their feet aching, ears ringing: all that you would expect at Christmas. But not like this, not this way, please, they plead while being dragged around by vultures demanding insider knowledge, asking what’s left, picking with their beaks and claws at the carcass that was these people’s jobs.

And outside I wait, wondering if the prices will drop below 50% their original (plus VAT alterations), wondering what I will be able to get from the music, toys and sweets.  And if they do the thermal mug (leather bound) I need to find.

Waiting in the queue I talk with a person about how sad it all is, smiling inwardly at the savings I will make, my feathers quivering excitedly.

250 Words: The story of Stac Levenish

Levenish was a nuisance in the Ancient Glasgow area, forever rubbing people up the wrong way and getting drunk and shouting and knocking down fences to let animals go.  The chaos of early mornings was bad enough to bare.  It became even worse when the young and impressionable started to gather round and join in.  Before long the gang were taking all they wanted and terrorising villages along the River Clyde.

One night the rogues discovered the hut of a trusting wizard and Levenish, trying to prove what a man he was, consumed a draught labelled Strength.  Soon he was a stone giant, all the better to bully the populace.

On returning to his hut from a gathering expedition in the Highlands, Kilda was shocked to discover what had resulted from his carelessness and, after a quick discussion with his Helfenschwein, Soay, realised what must be done, no matter the consequences for themselves.  And so they brewed more of the stolen potion, each downed a portion and went searching for Levenish.

Together the pair overcame the brute and dragged Levenish up the Clyde and out to sea as deep and as far as they could manage.  Some distance beyond Barra, Kilda and Soay became exhausted and collapsed where they stood becoming new islands rooted in the ocean, binding Levenish also as they became one with Mother Earth.  Levenish, enraged at what had happened blew forth red hot lava from his head until he himself grew tired and fell fast asleep.

250 Words: Improv, aka Ramblings 3

It was a parrot called Malcolm that finally pushed me over the edge.  Always squawking on about fucking crackers or some such shit.  So I never went to the pet shop again.  Shame, really,because I had always enjoyed a visit there.  I went to a party once, though, and saw Malcolm again.  His repertoire had changed a bit by then and he won me over.  Charming fellow, I must say. Knew the first lines of fifteen classic novels.  If you said the title, he would give you said first line. Fun game to try and find the ones he knew.  I can remember he knew A Christmas Carol (not read it, but knew the first sentence: easy to remember at three words long) and Pride and Prejudice (who doesn’t know that one?)  I don’t think I know any others, actually, so if he was right I wouldn’t have known.  Funny old bird, that.  Not as strange as the parrots who live wild in this country. Weirder for them, perhaps.  Or maybe not if they were born and bred in captivity. Malcolm was cool, though.  Like to see him again.  Anyway, I went back to the pet shop but the latest parrot was a shit too.  I’ve not been back since.  Shame, really, because I always enjoyed a visit there.  I liked the little hamsters with their big cheeks and the rabbit babies and the guinea pigs. And the different size water bottles.  And the fish: could watch them forever.

250 Words: Couple No 7: Tales from the City: The Blur and The Developer (Part Five)

The two had clandestine meetings at many different places, including each other’s apartments, as Thomas fully explained to Peter how he made his ability work and slowly related his life story (minus the bully incident and other pieces of information that might help give his identity away) to be published as a serial.

And an element of calm soon came over the city in relation to Thomas, aka The Blur: the naysayers faded into the background and the city came to terms with their unlikely hero who had come from a small town in the middle of nowhere and who was here to stay.

Thomas and Peter quickly became friends, getting closer and closer during meetings that would turn into all-night chats ending on the balcony watching the sun come up.  Until one glorious summer evening when, in a pause, their eyes met, the silence was filled with a kiss and they finally gave in to their inner urges and became a couple. 

And thus they went on, partners in two different senses and with a foreboding feeling in the back of their minds.  Thomas knew that if the relationship ended badly, Peter could expose him quite naked to the city while Peter worried that their closeness could lead to exposure- it might not take much investigation by jealous rivals to discover their secret and blow the deal with his editor. 

And thus it went on, The Blur and The Developer happy; but scared of happiness’s end.

To be continued…?

250 Words: Couple No 7: Tales from the City: The Blur and The Developer (Part Four)

They met in a bar, somewhere neither thought it would happen, each going there to escape their problems.  But as Thomas waited to buy a round, Peter whispered in his ear, “I know who you are, Blur.”  Abandoning his friends, who gave him a wink and a nudge, Thomas spoke with Peter in a secluded corner.

Peter tried to get Thomas to come out, give him the scoop.  Thomas explained why he could not, what he feared would happen.  Peter said he would write what Thomas wanted, could explain his powers thoroughly, define what could not otherwise be defined.  Thomas said he wanted to remain anonymous, though, deep down, he knew he’d lost, that Peter would run the story no matter what, and that, perhaps, his story had to come out now so he could help people again. 

However Peter had, through talking to Thomas, begun to sympathise a little.  Partly because he could see the advantage of having Thomas as a friend and keeping his identity secret.  Plus it would mean Thomas might become active again, so he’d be doing the city a favour.  If his identity became known, Thomas may be forced into stopping permanently or moving away. 

And so they formed an alliance- Thomas giving Peter information on his powers and his deeds, Peter producing exclusives and keeping his own power, which his editor wasn’t pleased with but accepted the arrangement: he had, after all, the only column in the city about The Blur.  Sales rose steeply.

250 Words: Couple No 7: Tales from the City: The Blur and The Developer (Part Three)

Thomas froze when he saw the headline (“Our Man Sees The Blur”) and his stomach lurched when he read the article and its debate over whether The Blur could move superhumanly fast or if he moved within frozen time.  Partly because he knew he’d been seen but also because he’d always wanted the name Chrono Man or Time Freeze.  The blurring was a hindrance and not something he wanted to be known for.

Growing up, Thomas had dreamed of fame, of showing off his powers on television, meetings with scientists and politicians; and also of celebrity dates.  Instead, not long after the city had begun to chatter about his exploits, he had met with resentment over his inability to save everyone.  The people’s ignorance of the exact nature of his powers led them to question and a hatred grew among many.

Simultaneously, the newspapers, in their fear of not knowing (and their rivalry), had begun their manhunt- thinking only of their own needs and not of what harm they might do to their supposed hero.  Commentators from all quarters threw in their thoughts as Thomas himself wondered whether to reveal his identity.

In the end Thomas, with his supporters and detractors in a frenzy, decided to stop his activities for a while and lay low so as to avoid this blur-seeing journalist.  Something he did not manage for long, not realising that Peter knew his face.  Or that the two had something in common that would make their worlds overlap.

250 Words: Couple No 7: Tales from the City: The Blur and The Developer (Part Two)

Peter was a reporter for one of the city’s newspapers and was constantly vigilant for whoever or whatever was causing the miracles to occur.  Most newspapers didn’t believe in the divine and were constantly searching for a rational explanation.

During his career Peter had always had a keen eye for events as they unfolded, as well as a good memory for later distilling events into stories.  In fact his vision and memory were so perfect, it was if he saw and remembered events step by step like photographs developed and stored forever in his mind.

One day Peter was walking through the city’s streets and, as he often did, used his analytical skills to people watch, taking in movements and expressions as entertainment to fill the time on the way to a job.

All of a sudden he heard tyres squeal and a woman scream and, looking in the direction from the sounds had come from, he saw a streaked line starting and ending from a man on the opposite pavement and running across the road, engulfing and picking up the child, dropping it off next to its mother and then circling back around over the road to the start point.

In his excitement, Peter neglected to follow this extraordinary man.  Leaving him instead with a story he could only really put across as a theory, a belief.  The search would therefore have to continued: except that now Peter knew the face he needed to find to complete the scoop.

250 Words: Couple No 7: Tales from the City: The Blur and The Developer (Part One)

Thomas first realised he could stop time during a stressful moment.  The School Bully had him cornered and as the punch came in, Thomas closed his eyes and braced himself.  On opening them he found time had stopped.  After a short panic stood stock, still worried the world had come to an end, Thomas decided to piss up and down the Bully’s legs before returning to his original position (instinctively he knew he would have to always do so), unfroze time and witnessed the end of the School Bully’s reign.

Some time later Thomas began his secret life of helping others out (after a prolonged period of mischief, of course).  Though he had to always start and end in the same place, he could still change other things in the blink of everyone else’s eye, removing victims or criminals from various situations and so on.

The only problem was the care he needed to take in his movement.  Appearing in more than one position in a single moment meant Thomas left a great streak behind him.  In the early days he often got lost, finding it difficult to return to his start position.  Over time Thomas learned to take care, freezing time before taking in the full situation and planning every move- normally in a clockwise direction.

Eventually he grew up and moved to the city where his antics, occurring almost on a daily basis, became its greatest mystery and a search for the solution to this enigma soon began.

250 Words: Getting my mobile back

The first sign it had been found came on Sunday morning when my mother said someone had rung the night before and that “the number sounded like” mine.  Hope set in and not too long later the finder rang and asked how I wanted to organise things.  I asked where he lived (somewhere near the cinema), he suggested meeting at the newsagents nearby.

I got a lift into town and waited on a bench.  Felt a little like Lisa Liskli, actually, but waiting for a man to return property rather than for a date, as each time a new man came in sight, I wondered if they were the one.  He was a nice looking chap (hooded, bright yellow top and those horrible circular earrings that create a massive hole in your earlobes) who became our hero. 

Earlier, I’d been thinking about the question of a reward.  Chocolate or money were my two thoughts.  But overriding this was the belief that he could have just handed it in at the cinema and saved himself the bother.  So I more or less decided not to bother.  Kind of ended up almost feeling bad about this after asking if he had indeed found the device in das kino.  Turned out he hadn’t.  Rather, he’d trodden on the damned thing in Hart Street. 

Still, I don’t think he cared about it one way or another.  He certainly just seemed like a nice guy who wanted to get a phone back to its owner.  

250 Words: Week off

Annoyingly I had several ideas (well, two for three weeks) but not enough time to work on them properly.  One is born of Heroes- an idea dreamed up just before the new series*; and one that overlaps with it slightly- at least I thought, “Balls,” during Episode 1; rightly or wrongly.  The other comes from a painting I saw last Tuesday, though the theme goes back further.

And so it’s a verified week off.  Naught but the story of a lamb lost on a heath.  Through a gap in the fence caused by naughty children it crept, off to find its way it went.

Soon, however, a mist came down and the lamb got wet and shivery and knew not where to go or what to do.  And the lamb wandered, hearing howls and hoots as the night wore on and it began to miss the stable and its warm hay.

“Sometimes it’s better not to take the chances offered to us, I guess,” the lamb decided while settling into a divot in the ground for the night.  “Some thought, some advice may be required.”

After a quick dream of home, a friendly badger came and guided the lamb back to the farm and a tearful reunion with its family.  Never again would the lamb stray beyond the borders set in place.

Then either:

a) it was slaughtered for eating soon after

or

b) it grew up to live a long and productive life.

You choose.  It’s my week off.

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*I wrote these things years ago; Couple No 7 is, I think, the what I'm referring to here.  Not sure what the painting was.

250 Words: Couple No 6: After The Fight

"come up to meet you/tell you I'm sorry"

My head still throbs: continually turning it over doesn’t help.  I want to move on, find us the next ladder.  So I call you; then wash, shave, style my hair and dress like it’s our first date.

And I come to meet you, rehearsing my speech all the way: every word thought out with intense concentration on my face: bewildering some while others seem to understand.

As I get near the top of the hill you appear from the other side.  We walk toward each other and stop, standing awkwardly outside the old house, unsure how to begin.

My speech disappears when I see your face, your beautiful face: tired and worn, your hair tied back, not a single muscle in your face active: like you’re frozen in time or lost in an emotional wilderness: your face like nature trampled by wheels, beaten about, bruised, leaving a stain of concern behind.  My stomach drops at what I have done but something in your eyes speaks of hope.

We smile weakly and draw closer.  Our reflective eyes meet, we apologise, make promises. As we do I take your clothes in my fists, my grip like a baby's; the material, as ever, is strange, exotic, comforting; reminding me that I need you.  Then, slowly, we embrace, kiss unsteadily, teeth scraping, as if for the first time.  And as we exit the scene, still shells of our former selves, it is a step in the right direction: the first part of our healing.

250 Words: Couple No 5: A stumbling block to romance

Argh, Annie, he promised so much.  For ages he was always chatting to me at whatever pub or party we were at, slowly convincing me we should date, that we’d be good together.  He tried so hard, Annie, put in so much effort.  And he was so sweet, I believed every word that came from his rotten lying mouth.

He continued his beautiful charm offensive on our dates.  In restaurants, parks and, once, on the beach with a bag of chips at sunset: an amazing evening huddled closely on the pebbles.  Jesus, Annie, he was wonderful every step of the way.  Whispered phone calls at bedtime, sandwiches on grass at lunchtime, he even carried my books to class, the clichéd mother’.

And that first time was magical- can’t believe I gave it up to him, now; the signs were there, I swear- it was such a fantastic day together in town, a tingle of anticipation building slowly between us through the day and evening then being released long into the night.  The memory’s tarnished now but at the time it was amazing- coming together like that with someone for the first time.  And waking up together for the first time.  Brilliant.

Guess you reap what you sew and I let that syphilitic swine plough God knows what into me.  And him so marvellous throughout while screwing Holly on the side, no doubt laughing at me whenever we parted, on his way to that skank’s bed.

Fucking hell, Annie, why me?  

250 Words: Couple No 4: Burke and Hare

It started, innocently enough, with a proposal (though any innocence that could conceivably have existed had already been drowned in thought and would soon be drowned in deed as well): “It is simple, Bill- a matter of supply and demand.  And a demand only the cunning, the devious, can supply.  And that, Bill: those curious and devious suppliers, can be us!  The only rogues in the city daring enough to make the demands of medicine, and of science, into an honest day’s work.”

And that is how the grizzly business began.  Doctors in need of bodies were supplied with the means to the advancement of knowledge by the two men happy to supply them for cash, the last gasps of air becoming akin to the cash register‘s merry ring.

Every man or woman killed and transported in secret kept the pair solvent and able to continue. However, the illegality of murder was the couple’s only problem, the only sticking point in the plan.  And twas the very reason the police of Edinburgh were to ultimately follow their bloody trail to an ultimate conclusion and the present scene:

A couple who’ve shamed Scotland.  A couple brought together in crime before a crowd eager to see death come to those who bring about death themselves: the justice of the courts that will deliver them to Lucifer himself.  A couple about to dance a gruesome jig that will shake everything out of their bodies from their basest substances to their very lives themselves.

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NB: When writing this I had every intention of actually researching Burke and Hare.  In the end, however, I wrote this before looking into them, I'm not sure why (probably just "for a laugh"). See if you can spot the glaring error here (if you didn't already spot it, that is).

250 Words: Couple No 3: Lover’s Pact

In a darkened room a couple move past sweet nothings and think about their future.  They talk about moving in together- an idea that makes sense given the amount of time they spend together.  This topic soon leads to the thought of commitment: something so far largely untouched between them, though with others they have mentioned long term.

And soon they reach the nub of it.

Their love holds few conditions and these they outline in a lover’s pact that will bind them together.  A script to stick to or use spontaneously to breed romance.  Personal vows requiring not witnesses or law.  A secret between them, a counsel to keep.

All I want from you is to keep me; keep me in that special box by your bed.

I will keep you; I will keep you in my heart and in my head.

Hold me; take me out every night and hold me tight.

I promise to hold you; through the good times and the bad.

Love me; kiss me whenever we meet, never let us die.

I shall always love you; water you with love, never let us die.

Heal me; lick my wounds, patch me up.

I will heal you; nurse you and revive you.

Warm me; lay your head on my chest, put your arms around me.

I’ll warm you; put my arms around you, always keep you close.

If they do these things every favour will be returned.  With this lover’s pact they seal their love.