Friday 26 April 2013

250 Words: Voices in my head

Everyday, everywhere, they talk to me, drive me mad.
Don’t know where to look, where to go, who they are, why they’re there.
Just know they are. And I have to live with it.
Fucking weird y’know? It’s so scary. They tell me where to go, what to do, what to
say. Always thought others were weird, but now I’m like them: paranoid of everyone,
everything. Scared to do anything they won’t like.
Which is why.
I’m standing.
On this chair.
Staring.
Through a noose that will help me get out.
“No,” they scream, “Our work is not done.”
I beat my head with my fists to try and shut them up.
They won’t, they will scream until I’m in my grave. Never will they let me be.
My head is through, one step will kill us all.
I want to ignore their frantic attempts to talk me down, have a beautiful moment of
silence before it’s eternal but they seem to make sense. This way could send me to
hell, an eternity of this. Life, they say, could help. They, they say, could help me find
help. But one step.. just one.
A step I take.
After removing the noose.
“You’ve passed the first test, you are ready now.”
“Am I weak or strong,” I wonder. I’ve faced death but they are still with me. Need to
be strong, need to seek help. But I owe them my life. They bought themselves more
time cleverly.
Is there no escape?

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