Saturday, 31 May 2014

250 Words: Shit, dude, ZOMBIES!!!

Dude, there’s zombies! Thousands of them! Well, maybe only hundreds. Or less. It’s tricky to tell from here.

Fuck off, I can count. And it’s zom-bies, dude. Just one would be enough. And all I can see is a crowd of the dopey shits walking into the front window. It’s mental, dude, well mental- who’d a though it, eh? 

What, Romero? Maybe him, I guess, yeah. But, I mean, if this don’t get sorted it’s gonna be a strange old world from here on in- ducking ‘n’ diving and whatnot everywhere we go, raiding empty shops. Well, you’re as familiar as me with these things.

But shit, dude, ZOMBIES!!! I mean, I am awake, yeah? This is happening? Nah, it just struck me suddenly that I was maybe drunk or stoned somehow. 

You’ve sinit on the news? And… 

What? Yeah, I’m at work! 

Ugly, rotting bastards, too. It’s gross dude, so gross. But fascinating- like the grimmest zoo ever. All teeth and gaping holes, you can see all sorts you shouldn’t be able to. And noisy, man, all that constant groaning- can you hear it? 

Horrid, yeah?

Bloody hell, what they got to moan about, anyways? They’re in a fucking constant all you can eat buffet. 

Disgusting blighters. Probably stink of shit, too.

What’s that, dude, you seem worried? I’m not surrounded or nothin’. Yeah, mate, I can still get out the back, for the moment at least. 

What’s that you say? 

Sure, alright then, love, I’ll be right over.

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