George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 17: Grassers and Carpeteers

Many creatures of This World, faerytale or otherwise, have existed in many different sizes and shapes through the years.  When Europeans first went to Madagascar they encountered gibbons as large as gorillas and as small as mice before killing off all the smaller and larger varieties.  Much the same is true of humans, with all but my own kind becoming the stuff of legend to most.

One of the smallest are the Grassers and the Carpeteers.  Each live among the fibres of grass or carpet that make up their world.  Once there were only Grassers, who, like humans, came in various sizes.  When humans introduced carpets, the smallest among the Grassers took the opportunity to escape persecution from their larger counterparts and shelter somewhere they could not be touched.

Both these proud peoples live lives much the same as ours, except that they live in either burrows in the ground or homes created beyond skirting boards [Carpeteers are much the same as the fictional Borrowers - Modern Editor].  However, they are quite different from one another.  Grassers hunt small creatures and eat wild fruit while Carpeteers steal all their food from humans, often struggling to survive if “their” humans leave the house unoccupied. 

Grassers and Carpeteers both, of course, have much to fear from larger animals and always travel in well armed groups to fend off creatures from the size of mice upwards.  Carpeteers often construct their own mouse (and rat) traps in the gaps between walls or rein down spears upon them from above.

Wars have been fought between these peoples and skirmishes happen often as Carpeteers seek to move between houses.  One such war was reported by a Kensington man who noticed one day tiny columns of smoke rising from different points on his lawn.  On closer inspection he found tiny people seemingly at war with one another and attempted to broker a peace.  In doing so he found that a war had broken out as Carpeteers sought to find a route between the man’s house and his garden studio, where a group from the house and founded a separate community.  The man was ultimately unsuccessful and so built a safe passage for the Carpeteers and helped both Grassers and Carpeteers to flourish on his property.

Such instances of interaction are extremely uncommon, it should be said, and most people are unaware of their Grasser and Carpeteer tenants.  However, I do myself leave food for Carpeteers and seek not to walk across my lawns too often.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 16: Safety Sprites

Much has been written about the beasties on the moors, on rivers, at sea and other places that send people astray.  Whether it be horses that ditch drunks in the middle of nowhere or one of the umpteen sexist tales of creatures turned into beautiful women (the ones that are true always handily ignore the males of those species as well as failing to record the lost human women).  But little is known of those that do help lost and weary travellers. 

One such creature is the Safety Sprite who live across the globe on moors, in forests and jungles, deserts, ice plains and anywhere else where there is no human habitation.  To the human eye (and that of most beasties) they are almost always invisible, they are so small.  Descriptions of captured Safety Sprites, however, say they are tiny creatures, only a couple of millimetres tall with humanoid bodies in proportion with our own but with the addition of wings that allow them to fly or hover, though usually they fly no higher than grass - except in forests where they have been seen flying higher, but will not stray more than a few centimetres away from the nearest tree or tree branch. 

Some medieval and later writers have claimed they live in burrows in the ground (whether earth, ice or sand) or in trees in huge communities who employ lookouts that seek animals or humans in need.  Others believe them to live in another dimension where they watch over ours (and possibly others) so as to transfer across when needed.

Whether to guide a lost soul home or to help an injured party be found, these creatures reveal themselves by lighting up.  A lost person on moors may suddenly find thousands of small lights in the grass appearing and that following them will take them towards home normally to the appropriate road - they have been known to line the roads, ensuring the lost party will head in the right direction, fading out only when they are sure the person is no longer lost. 

How these creatures know where people need to go is thought is often put down to psychic powers but is probably largely luck and a good knowledge of the land they call home.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 15: Tinners

Tinners are Cornish and Devon cave dwarves of the kind often called “wild” or “uncivilised.”  Though they are cave dwarves, they actually live in the tin mines of South West England where they have been surviving through bullying tin miners since prehistoric times.  

How they lived before is unknown, of course, but through threatening behaviour they gain daily feeds from humans.  Some people think it is a little harsh to call them uncivilised when they can clearly strike and maintain such a good bargain - though in most other aspects of their being they can certainly be seen as such.

Tinners, like all “wild” cave dwarves, are small even for dwarves, in stature and are different in other ways too.  They have pale, slightly translucent skin and the large, virtually blind, eyes that are often seen in creatures living underground.  They have no nose to speak of, or ears, but instead two nostrils and an ear hole on the each side of their head - it is thought that the tunnels themselves act as ears by catching and sending sounds to them while their nostrils are big enough to sniff out the food left for them.  Unlike dwarves they are quite hairless and wear no clothes.  

Their hands and teeth are the main other difference - as well as being the means to their dominating miners.  The fingers of cave trolls are elongated and have hard, sharp nails that jut out from the end.  Their teeth are many, small, triangular and very sharp.  The two combined have been enough in the past to first scare miners into freezing before making demands that have culminated in the eternal tradition of leaving the scraps of their lunch for Tinners to collect at night.

The creatures themselves live in the deepest, darkest parts of the mine and are rarely seen nowadays.  The only sign they still exist is the disappearance of offerings for them.  

Perhaps they died out at some point and have been replaced by rats, perhaps it is safe to no longer pay the Tinner Toll... but then the crust of your pasty is but a small price to pay for your life.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 14: The Giant White Horse of Kent

It has not been seen for centuries, and may never have even existed, but the shadow, or perhaps ghost, of the Giant White Horse of Kent looms large over the Garden of England.  It is said, in fact, that its manure helped the county gain its sobriquet. 

The legend begins in the supposed time of giants, of Gog and Magog, when the pair came across a horse upon the banks of the River Thames.  Each desired to have this thoroughbred as their own and, thus, an argument and then a fight took place.  Before the contest was decided, however, Gog noticed that the horse had fled.

Later, when Kent was known as Cantium, the horse was sometimes referred to as the Cantium Beast.  Having grown popular as a source of rich manure (and possibly featured on many Iron Age coins), it is thought the horse had eventually become a bane as it trampled and destroyed fields and houses while roaming its lands.  Some say the horse was driven away, into the sea, or perhaps Sussex or Essex (many arguing it spent time roaming the country and was recorded on various hills).

There are stories that the soldiers of Caeser and Claudius caught sight of the horse as they invaded through Kent.  That the Dark Ages saw its rampant return as destroyer.  That the Norman writers of the Domesday Book hid its existence through not recording it.  And there are numerous accounts of it being slain for the feast to end all feasts.

Certainly it has not been seen or found in the modern age.  No doubt a legend and a myth, it is a pleasing one all the same. 

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 13: Underpavers

Over the centuries, millennia and beyond, many creatures have lived in the soil, both in union with Mother Earth and working against her or her wishes.  It is mostly the latter that come into contact with humans- that seek them out even.  At one time this was a terrible problem in settlements as it meant people could be attacked virtually anywhere by creatures from below their feet as byways weren’t paved and accommodation had earth floors.

As urban areas grew, so did protection against such dangers as streets became paved and buildings became more complex.  One danger that remains, however, is that of the Underpaver, a creature known initially as an Underpather until they got trapped in the earth beneath the pavement.

Mostly they are no danger at all, mostly they cannot even hope to harm but; wherever there is a crack, wherever the binding between paving slabs has deteriorated they have a chance.

They cannot face light, of course, so during the day and in well lit areas one is safe but stray into a dark and ill-maintained alleyway and you must watch your step.  For your footsteps alert those in wait below, those who hunger for human flesh, and can wait patiently forever for a victim, using a dark magic to pull them through the tiniest of cracks into the earth to suffocate and become food.

These creatures resemble “gnomes but with evil faces” according to different medieval texts.  Unlike gnomes, though, they can elongate their arms to fit through gaps and pass this ability on to those they touch, enabling them to pull their victims into the earth.  There seems to be no way to defeat them, no way to fully determine if they still exist, other than by studying missing persons reports. 

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 12: The Whatsit McJiggernuts

The Whatsit McJiggernuts is a confused creature, forever unsure of itself and its surroundings.  And that confusion is something it broadcasts out from its body to us.  Hence the name- both the strange phrase, bringing to mind something half remembered and just out of reach of one’s memory, and the needless pluralisation.

This is almost all of what’s known of the Whatsit McJiggernuts.  Except that it lives on land, in the countryside and urban areas of Britain, sitting on or behind walls or in hedges or trees; and that it comes out at night, generally showing itself only to those returning home late at night from the pub, who, the next day, can’t quite put a finger on what they’ve seen.  They know what it wasn’t- but what was it?  They knew at the time for it told them but all they can think after is that it was, “a… a… Whatsit McJiggernuts!”

Many have tried to help these beleaguered beasts but those who actively seek it rarely find it.  And so even the most straight-laced of these crusaders end up dowsing their innards with vodka in order to find their quarry, invariably finding themselves without memory and getting nowhere.

Those wily enough to succeed have all been driven mad by their confused captive, gaining no new information whatsoever before ultimately freeing it without knowing that they have done so.

So we see that the Whatsit McJiggernuts is unknowable and that is why I have never tried to discover more.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 11: Gargeloyles

At one time, hundreds of years ago, in the waterways of Europe lived microscopic creatures that lay in wait for people to collect up and gargle the water containing them - for only when being gargled were they able to do their bidding.  Which was to attach themselves to the oesophagus of their victim and from there find their way up past the nose to the brain where, in their millions they were able to take over a person’s brain and control them. 

These creatures, known as Gargeloyles, aimed to one day take over the entire human race.  As they infected one human, so that human would encourage another to gargle infected water, thus increasing the number of Gargeloyle puppets. 

Only a few areas are known to have had Gargeloyle populations that managed to take control of a number of humans.  There was one village where an infected boy of seven was able to convince first his siblings and friends to join him in gargling to make funny noises and then several adults before something strange was suspected.  Elsewhere a whole district of a town became Gargeloyle before they were discovered.

Initially, seeing these events as an invasion of evil forces, the victims were slaughtered and their bodies burned.  Although this probably did successfully kill the Gargeloyles present, it was not ideal for the victim.  But then how could a microscopic being be stopped before anyone knew creatures so tiny existed?

Gargeloyles were eventually stopped by a wizard passing through one of the affected areas.  Using the powers only wizards have she was able to feel and then see these tiny creatures both in the water and in the brains of the infected puppets. 

She then removed them all by force before enlarging each and turning them to stone, showing their grotesque forms to the world, including the relieved victims.  Most shattered during the process, creating great hills of stone, but many remained and were used in municipal architecture and churches as water spouts, their names soon being corrupted into gargoyle.  The wizard then travelled the world searching out and destroying Gargeloyles and other troublesome microscopic beings.

And that is both how a menacing little beast was made extinct and a cornerstone of gothic architecture invented.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 10: Nightmare Shadows

During the period following the First Coming of the Dark Warrior, a strange phenomenon struck Europe.  Slowly, successively, people in different towns and villages suffered the most terrible nightmares - each one much the same in that it featured the shadowy figure of that dread soldier.  

Reports came in from far and wide of a sensation of a presence as people, from low born peasants in villages, to lords and ladies and kings, tried to get to sleep.  And then, once asleep, they dreamed of being tormented by that shadow, that reminded them so of the Dark Warrior who had so recently stalked their world.  Some believed that he had raped them, some believed that he had convinced them to kill a loved one, some that he had destroyed their favourite toy - all had their own chilling experience.

After the phantom passed and reports of it dried up, it was initially seen as a good thing - the Dark Warrior had finally left to let them be.  But then he returned.  

After the Second Coming, of course, there were no dreams.  And some call this a good thing, others a bad.  That, perhaps if we are haunted, we are safe - and that a lull means only one thing - that the Dark Warrior is scheming to return...

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 9: Firebrands

Now believed to be extinct, Firebrands were small creatures that travellers of all kinds would take on long journeys both to help keep them company and to light their fires for them.  The creatures would travel in a pouch swinging from their owner’s belt or in the top pocket of their coat or shirt - their heads invariably poking out the top in order to look around.

They were created and given as gifts by the warring wizard, Mars, to those who, like him and Mercury, travelled following the First War of This World.  Indeed, it is often said that the one held by Mercury helped create weapons during the next war - in particular, the Underearth’s Dragons.

The creatures themselves were like newts in appearance with long bodies and tails bordered by four short legs, each with their own individual pattern of white, black, red, orange and yellow stripes running from nose to tail.  When commanded, and only when commanded, they would breath fire until the object they were told to aim at (generally kindling) took up that fire.

It is believed they became extinct as each would either die at the same time as their owner or crawl into his or her mouth so as to be buried with them.  

And that is all that can be said, more or less.  Another creature lost way back in the mysterious mists of time.

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 8: Frozen Water Imps

Frozen Water Imps, more commonly known as Frozimps, are so called more because of legend than because of any similarity to or relationship they have with River Imps, or Rivimps (in the same way that Sea Imps, or Seamps, are connected erroneously with Rivimps). 

Various theories exist that explain why and how Rivimps ended up living on frozen water high up in the hills and mountains.  Across the world cultures connect it with their own Great Flood myth, seeing Rivimps as having been displaced (and presumably altered, in line with the creation of Seamps) by the flood, settling in their new home. 

Others see Frozimps as being refugees from either the Dark Warrior’s Second Coming or other Rivimps, abandoning their river homes for the safer mountain tops, with some never returning.  Further, some say that wizards took them to their place of safety, altering them so that they would survive.  The Frozimp and Rivimp’s own chronicles, however, show this to be untru (see below).

Another couple of theories (one a ridiculous modern take on the other) sees them as Rivimps displaced by Rockles or Ötzi the Iceman. 

As for the Frozimp’s own creation story - this no human has been able to establish, that part of their chronicles is a closely guarded secret.

Though it is possible that some or all of the above things happened to Rivimps, or that Frozimps and Rivimps could well be related to a common ancestor, their only real link would seem to be via the rivers that connect and unite their communities.  Frozimps, after all, though they live in some similar ways to Rivimps and are similarly built, they have lungs, not gills, feet, not flippers, and are actually really tiny, hairy people.

Frozimps live in networks of ice caves dug into mountain glaciers and compacted hilltop snows.  Much like Mountain Elves and Dwarves, these are made of tunnels that open out into great community halls and have smaller homes situated to the sides.  They have hairy bodies to help keep them warm over which they wear clothes made from animal hides and leaves to help keep them warmer still, and dry too.  The same materials are used within their tunnels, homes and halls as insulation.

Living high up away from most natural resources, all Frozimp communities have established trading links with the Rivimps that live in the rivers that start on their mountain.  Some Frozimps mine for precious stones near the surface and also trade any flowers and plants they can gather that Rivimps cannot.  They are also fantastic craftspeople and will make clothes and other items from river materials that are superior to that which Rivimps can manage.

Another advantage for Rivimps is that Frozimps have always acted as lookouts for danger from their mountaintops- during the Second Coming of the Dark Warrior, they forewarned Rivimps across Europe and Asia, allowing them to get to safety before the Shadows drew over (thus destroying at least one of the above creation stories).  Because of this, Frozimps and Rivimps will always be connected, even if not in the way many argue that they are. 

George Joy’s Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 7: Warrior Wolves

Warrior wolves, so named for their connections with the Dark Warrior, live mainly in the lands that warrior conquered, seemingly still bound by its borders.  Indeed, every part of their nature seems connected with the warrior from the underworld.  Their first sightings on earth coming alongside his and a vast change in their appearance occurred after a rumoured spat with him.

In appearance, they have fur, often described as being of the purest black, that is often matted, and solidly dull red eyes.  Warrior wolves walk as if their legs are deformed, although this apparent disability seems to evaporate when they hunt.  All this is in stark contrast to accounts from the Dark Warrior’s conquered lands where these predators were described as having bright, glinting, scarlet eyes with fur, though matt, not matted, and were always lithe, moving always with menace.  The changes are widely believed to be a punishment inflicted by the Dark Warrior himself for a crime unknown.

Other legends relating to the Dark Warrior have been noted elsewhere (most notably the idea that they were once some kind of reverse werewolves) countless times and are so well known that I shall not bother repeating them here.

Like all wolves they live and hunt in packs.  In their case they live within forests and hunt, mainly deer, both under and out of tree cover.  Their hunting technique, however, is what really sets them apart from other wolves and yet further cements the relationship to their old master.  Their method is to approach herds of deer (or occasionally sheep and even cows) in a triangular formation, either sneaking up or overrunning their prey before turning inwards to finish off any hapless creature unfortunate enough to find themselves within this triangle of darkness.

Warrior wolves are ferocious beasts, ripping prey apart quite forcefully to gain legs and ribs to take back to the pack, however many within their territories claim they have some good inside them it just has no outlet.

George Joy's Guide to Faerytale Creatures, No 6: The Kit's Coty Cat

Running from the Pilgrim's Way up onto the North Downs near Aylesford, Kent, is a path lined with, and covered by, trees.  The path climbs steeply towards Kit's Coty village and past the ancient monument that lends the village its name.  The group of four stones (three standing on the ground in an open square with a fourth supported by them) can be accessed through a gap in the foliage.  Now fenced off, these stones were a popular nineteenth century spot for graffiti.

Many legends surround these stones but only one is relevant for this collection and that is the cat local people say guards the entrance to the field Kit's Coty House stands in.  And whether real or an apparition, the stories surrounding it are fascinating.

The large cat, most resembling a lioness, is said by most to be the ghost of the pet of the local King Catigern, whose tomb the stones are thought to be.  The legend runs that Catigern was defeated by the Jutish King Horsa in personal combat during a larger battle in 455AD.  His cat, probably bred from lions imported by the Romans, appears at night and stands guard over her master's tomb, hoping to avenge his death.  It seeks Jutish blood in its victims and slakes its thirst from it.  It is said that when enough is drunk, Catigern will return with his troops and reclaim his land.  Until then the cat keeps guard and watches over the ghostly re-enactments of the battle believed to take place in the field inhabited by Kit's Coty House.

This story is, of course, almost certainly complete rubbish and based on a misunderstanding of the tomb's age.  It is, in fact, much older than the 5th century and is the remains of a Neolithic long barrow such as that seen in West Kennet, and dates to 3-4000BC.  Likely the cat does connect with the Roman era, having been transported for sport in British amphitheatres, and escaped to find itself on the North Downs, its spirit lingering on, pining, perhaps, for its African home. 

A less popular suggestion connects the cat (or a series of related cats) with a handful of similar murders around the local villages and in Maidstone.  As a collection they are too far spaced to have been the committed by the same person but, intrepid researchers claim, they were all unsolved and suspected to have been attacks too ferocious for a human but not a beast. 

Connected with this theory is some debate over whether the Kit's Coty cat is a real, living, beast with a bloodline running back at least 150 years or a ghost.  The former would seem ridiculous as there would surely be too many of these great cats to go unnoticed.  Yet there are those who believe a community of large cats are out there and go searching for them often.  No tracks have ever been found and the idea of a ghost cat therefore resonates, whether a murderer, an avenger or a seeker of a way home. 

Whatever the truth, it is certain that, many people have seen a large cat sitting up straight in the small gap that leads to Kit's Coty House.

George Joy’s Guide to Faery Tale Creatures, No 5: Gobettes

Goblins can be nasty, vicious creatures full of hatred and mischief.  Gobettes (pronounced in a similar way to how Gollum pronounces his name), on the other hand, are much different.

Always seen in small groups they appear at times of human stress to help ‘deserving’ people out.  Each of these patrol-like groups of five to seven belong to a larger community who live in secret serving an area inhabited by humans.  Estimates suggest there is a Gobette collective for every six thousand people.  How large these communities are is unknown as one has never been studied as a whole.  Gobettes have been spotted entering caves and trunks of trees, as well as disappearing under bridges and into molehills and the burrows of various creatures.  Nobody knows where they come from or how they live.  Only what they do.

What they do can range from the spectacular to the quiet and almost mundane.  They have pulled people out of pits and wells, for instance, and fought off wolves.  They have also talked people out of committing suicide, murder and arson.

Sometimes, though, it is much smaller things.  Old and lonely people frequently talk of the groups of Gobette visitors who sit cross-legged and listen to the tales of their lives with eager eyes.  And overworked and overstressed housewives of the help received from time to time by Gobette helpers.

Many people make the mistake, based mainly on names, that all Goblins are male and Gobettes female and that, like bulls and cows or rams and ewes, are the same species.  This, of course, is not true.  Female Goblins are never seen because they are hideously oppressed, prisoners in their own home.  Gobettes are more ambiguous, however.

Gobette groups are believed to generally contain members of both sexes but no one is sure because they all wear the same loose clothing and, of course, because nothing is known of their private lives.  These clothes are long, grey smocks that do not seem to inhibit their actions at all.  Rather they run and fight often.  A Gobette’s skin is leathery and a pale blue in colour.  They have thin, wispy hair and their feet are always shoed in leather sandals showing them to have three toes, and middle of which is the big toe.

And that is all that is known.  A remarkable and kind creature that seems to be almost omniscient and omnipresent.

George Joy’s Guide to Faery Tale Creatures, No 4: The Book Worms

The Book Worms have run the libraries of the wizards for centuries, though few outside wizard circles have seen either these fountains of wisdom or the book keepers themselves.  Even the sites of these libraries is disputed.  Many say they are within hills such as Glastonbury Tor and Silbury Hill.  Others that they were there but were moved to earthworks below the keeps of castles such as at Dover.  Yet more believe they were always at such strongholds, citing Tintagel while some say they are in far more out of the way, or even abandoned, places such as Skara Brae.

And that's just in Britain.  Arguments rage throughout the world as to where these libraries are; or were.

What it is not disputed is the existence and history of the librarians.  They were created by magic to do the bidding of the magical world and in that sense they are very much a slave species.  And, like the Helfenschwein and the Orks, they do not care, only knowing how to get on with life.

It was the work of the wizarding couple, Claire and Phillip that created the race.  They were part of a group of wizards who had set up the very first wizarding library in the early days of magic at a location that is still, of course, a closely guarded secret.  Though wizards were still in their infancy, they had already accrued a mass of literature that desperately needed a place to live.  The purpose of it was not just to store all wizard texts, espeicially the oldest, most rare, sacred and dangerous, but all also to keep a record of the wizard’s history.

These purposes they felt were too time-consuming for themselves and, at the time, beyond the Helfenschwein, whom they saw as simple home-help.  And so Phillip and Claire came up with the idea of taking worms from the ground and transforming them into creatures designed to do the aforementioned tasks.  The reasoning being that they could live in the ground, out of the way of all life forms the wizards felt should not know of these book safe houses.

They took five worms, enlarged them and gave them arms and legs.  This gave them a strange and gangly appearance, their heads able to bend either forward or right over to look down at humans.  It also gave them a tail that follows them around, forever dragging behind.

The Book Worms live close by their libraries in tunnels that connect to a secret underground staff entrance.  Each has its own sand nest where it retreats each night to rest and recuperate, living off the nutrients found in the soil that is fertilised from above by wizards. 

Each morning they go to the place their life is devoted to, here socialising with other Book Worms, helping to build a strong team.  While at work, they help wizards with enquiries, conserve the manuscripts and, of course, write the wizard chronicles.

Every library is said to have a small, separate staff who devote their time to this.  These tireless folk pour over the wizard press, and call out for eye witness testimony in order to write a full and unbiased account of the goings-on outside. 

Book Worms reproduce once in their lifetime.  This occurs about three quarters of the way through their life when they will lay an egg which they also fertilise.  The rest of the Book Worm's life is then partly devoted to training their offspring to replace them.  As such the Book Worm population neither meaningfully grows or depletes.

George Joy’s Guide to Faery Tale Creatures, No 3: Rockles

Rockles are the spirits of the mountains.  Believed to be ancient yet wily beings who live within the rock itself, occasionally exiting their homes and taking on another form to walk the mountain range.

Rarely seen, they were believed for centuries and by many to be the hallucinations of climbers dizzy from a lack of oxygen.  Photographs and films have since destroyed that theory.

Of the Rockles' life inside the mountains nothing is known.  Arguably.  Infamously, there is François Bernard's account of his trip into the Alps.  This talks about great halls of peaceful contemplation devoted to lifetimes of philosophising.  But it is universally believed to be lies and so can be found under the banner of fiction in libraries and bookshops.

Not a lot more is known of a Rockle's life outside of their mountain homes.  Only really the form taken - that of a rock 'man,' much like The Thing of Fantastic 4 fame, albeit much leaner, usually reaching 7 feet in height.  Rockles are seen in this form at heights of more than 4000 metres, meaning they can be found in parts of the Alps, Andes, Himalayas and Rocky Mountains. 

Here they stroll around the mountain tops and across glaciers alone, approaching no one, human or animal.  Sometimes they will be seen sitting and taking in the views across and down valleys like an animated Rodin’s Thinker, and, occasionally, within caves.  They have been seen melting into and out of the mountain side in order to assume this form or their mysterious other.  This 'melting' into the rock is what has led people to believe they exist within mountain ranges as spirits.  Some think they may exist in all rock everywhere but can only (or are only allowed to) assume their other form at high altitude.

Various theories surround their activities outside of the mountains.  Some follow the same line of thought as Bernard of philosophising spirits spending time in isolation to clear the mind.  Others see it as a rite of passage, the adolescent Rockle having to bridge childhood and adulthood on some sort of mission in the outside world.  This comes from the belief that no Rockle has ever been seen twice.  Something that is hard to prove, though, as all Rockles look extremely similar and are rarely seen. 

Dick Harrelson thought the Rockles left the mountains simply to travel to other Rockle communities, a theory much derided by those who believe Rockles are not imprisoned by mountains or their ranges. 

Humans have frequently tried to make contact with Rockles.  American teams once tried to find them by blasting into the Rockies while Buddhists in Mongolia have tried to approaching on numerous occasions.  Only François Bernard has ever claimed any degree of success in making contact through speech.  Many, though, have said they have got within touching distance.  Whatever the truth of Rockles, until humans can make contact, these spirits of the mountains will forever be a mystery.

George Joy’s Guide to Faery Tale Creatures, No 2: The River Imp

The River Imp, most commonly shortened to Rivimp as it shall be here, is the fresh-water cousin of the Seamp (Sea Imp), now thought to be extinct following their run-in with the Dark Warrior.  They are found throughout the vast majority of Europe’s rivers as well as in North America, mainly in the north east US and eastern Canada, and also in parts of Australia and New Zealand.  Some sightings have been made in Latin America.

Rivimps are small in stature, a mere three inches, are in the same proportion as human beings and have various adaptations for life underwater.  Their feet, not used to support their bodies, are large, flat and flipper-shaped to help with swimming while their hands are webbed to help with swimming and digging.  Like fish they have gills rather than lungs and these are located on their necks.  Their mouths being connected only to their stomachs they have no noses.

The Rivimp live in burrows dug into river banks below the waterline, using a mix of fallen twigs and leaves hardened with a special oral secretion to keep the ceiling and walls in place.  A similar secretion is used to create clothes, allowing leaves to be shaped and stuck together but not harden so as to allow movement.  Some people believe the males secrete the formula used for burrows and the females for clothes.  Others say this is pure sexist conjecture. 

Rivimps are rarely found in lakes and canals, usually due in the case of the latter to transportation by angered and frustrated fishermen- for they are mischievous creatures, Rivimps, who like to play tricks on visitors to their habitat.  They have been known to tickle the feet of Herons, keep poohsticks stationery under bridges for up to a minute at a time, steal the eggs of birds who make their nests on rivers, pull the tongues of animals come to sup river waters and the hair of dogs come to swim in them, and, most infamously, removing the maggots from fishing hooks and giving the line a good tug.

This last practice isn’t simply a playful one but the instinct of a cunning predator.  The Rivimp lives mostly on fish (also underwater grassy plants and other river dwelling creatures such as snails and water boatmen) which they catch either by swimming alongside in packs and filling the prey’s gills with mud or by using spears made from fallen twigs and sharpened stones (which are guarded most carefully where they are used), depending on the make-up of the river bottom.  Fishermen will always plead innocence, the majority of fish caught are thrown back, but Rivimps do not appreciate this attack on their food stocks and will always fight against it, taunting the fishermen as much as possible due to their naughty nature. 

However, this badgering of fishermen has led to their extinction in some areas (and rivers), as well as their introduction to areas of the New World.  Few areas have seen extinction due to pure malice as many folk believe the killing of Rivimps to bring extraordinarily bad luck, indeed, by some to actually kill the river.  Rather, areas around major ports were cleared of Rivimps by fishing sailors for dispatch to the New Worlds of America and Oceania from as early as the sixteenth century.  In the case of Australia, Rivimps were sometimes sent as an extra punishment for the convicts sent there.

Rivimps are extremely sociable and peaceful creatures, living in dense communities dotted along the course of each river occupied.  Each one of these ‘villages’ will consist of a row of ‘terrace house’ burrows alongside each bank at regular intervals.  A family of Rivimps will live together in each one.  In deeper rivers, there may be up to six storeys of these burrows.  On each river, the communities of Rivimps will be known to each other, frequent visits being made to keep in touch, and to trade weapons, clothes and food as one or all three of these resources will not be available to all communities.  It has been known for two ‘villages’ to combine together after a disaster has struck one of them.

They spend virtually the entirety of their lives underwater, only breaking the surface to greet a visitor and during festivals.  Each river community have their own festivals, sometimes keyed into a local human one.  For instance, Medway Rivimps congregate in Maidstone for the annual River Festival.  Common reasons or themes for annually celebrated festivals include the autumn leaf fall (or harvest as some Rivimps are known to call it), floods and the laying of frogspawn, a treat that is eagerly farmed and traded up and down a river in time for the festivities.  On these occasions, Rivimps can be seen, very late at night, jumping out of the water and into the night air in intricate synchronised routines.

George Joy’s Guide to Faery Tale Creatures:, No 1: The Toothfaery

The Toothfaery is almost unique among the many species of faery as is it is one of only three species to live alongside humans.  In other words, it is one of the Housefaeries.  The Dustfaery and the Bathfaery are, of course, the others, the Toothfaery evolving from the latter.  The Toothfaery gets its name from its affinity for enamel, something it needs just as much as we require food and drink.  As such they build their homes from it, as simple close proximity to the substance enables them to live.  They use this process rather than eating or drinking because they have no mouths or digestive systems.  They communicate through telepathy. 

Each Toothfaery is allocated a child from which to “farm” milk teeth by the Queen Toothfaery, who lives in  Egypt.  The milk teeth of one child is ample for a house and a long life.  As such, a young Toothfaery, still rich from the liquid enamel suckled from its mother’s teat but close to the point when it will have to fend for itself, will be allocated a child whose first milk tooth has begun to wobble.  This the Queen knows due to her acute hearing which can detect  the sucky noise of a wobbly tooth from any other and who is in tune with Toothfaeries the world over, keeping note of the birth and death of every one and communicating with each as it comes of age. 

The great tragedy of this allocation, of course, is that some Toothfaeries are forced to live a life of solitude.  Others are forced into a nomad existence if their child moves house.  If such an event occurs, they are allocated a new child, meaning they have to abandon their first house and start again, usually at great risk to their own well-being.  Those lucky enough to find a mate will join their houses together and use this double house to bring up their children and to grow old together.

Their special relationship with humans started off as mere thievery.  Children, or parents, would save their milk teeth as they fell in a special box which Toothfaeries would infiltrate using their own guile and cunning.  However, this caused humans to go searching for them, eventually finding the perpetrators and beginning a mass extermination.  Fortunately for the Toothfaery, a wily young seven-year old called Tom Johnson (known to Toothfaeries across the world as The Saviour) was able to forge a deal with his allocated Toothfaery to exchange his teeth for real monies, a plan which benefited both parties and a custom that has gone on ever since.

The only snag in the tale is the secrecy Toothfaeries like to shroud themselves in.  Ever since The Great Discovery and Tom Johnson’s Business Plan, the Toothfaery has done everything it can to remain unseen.  Even going as far as to give children anaesthetic to ensure they stay asleep while they undergo the troublesome, and often dangerous, task of retrieving each precious tooth.   Accordingly I have been asked to pass on a message.  Any child caught awake and trying to gain a sighting of their Toothfaery will be severely reprimanded.  One boy I knew at school swore blind he had seen his Toothfaery and we all thought nothing of it.  That is, until the day after his last milk tooth fell.  The day all his teeth started to turn black and fall from his mouth one by one.