I always knew the final plan would come one day, I
suppose. When I got her home I thought
it had happened. Never did I dream how
horribly the last plan would go. Or be,
even. I started out all wide-eyed. Now they were bloodshot, watering and
irritable.
The wound from the unicorn’s horn had healed by the time I
got back to the van. However, though my
movement wasn't inhibited in any way and I felt no stiffness at all, there was
a constant pain deep inside my shoulder.
It was a living hell. No
painkillers would work and I couldn't really go to the doctor complaining about
a magical ailment.
It drove me fucking mad over the following week. I was snapping at people left, right and
centre. Whether it was my superiors
wanting figures, my mother on the phone or just people asking how I was. They didn't laugh at work that week. They just stared at me after I was gone and
signalled their concern to one another by nodding at my back and shaking their
heads.
I thought I would return to the clearing the next weekend
and get her back good and proper - and capture her for good or ill. Most things had stopped mattering to me
now. All I felt was pain and I sought to
end it and this unicorn fucking nonsense.
Which was probably just in my head anyway.
I entered the clearing in costume again, this time as a
matador with a red rag in hand. She was
still mad for once - something I had hoped for so that she might charge. And how she did. At first in anger then, slowly, more and more
for the sheer hell of it, getting a buzz out of it. That was how she let her guard down
enough. She stopped really paying
attention to where she was going, running at me with her head down. And so I began edging my way towards the edge
of the clearing. Before long I was
lifting the rag to reveal the trunk of a tree too close for her to avoid.
Now, originally, my plan had been a bitter one - to leave
her there after a period of piss taking.
And I did laugh manically for a bit at her looking quite foolish, her
horn half stuck in a tree. But only for
a short while. I went on to pretend to
take pity and told her I would help her out, for that plan had changed to one
of kidnap. For which I had a trick
hidden closely by.
Not far away was the old trusty sudoku-othello board. I wheeled it up alongside her and produced a
big tub of glue telling her what I planned to do with it as I used a brush to
slop it all over our old game station. I
told her that if man made items were able to stop magic then I felt her hooves
encased in glue and stuck to a bit of board on wheels should do the job very
nicely indeed.
Once done with my monologue I pulled the cart so it was
positioned behind the unicorn and then pushed it up against her hind legs,
forcing them into the air and onto their place upon the cart. They slid along nicely until I stopped and
allowed them to set.
The plan was then going to be to saw off her horn and wheel
her away. The bits I would need to set
her free were at home waiting to be used upon our return. It was close to the most horrible plan I
could have conceived, I thought (someone had once suggested a landmine). But it seemed justified. The pain in my shoulder was more or less
driving me to it, convincing me that this was what she wanted.
The unearthly screech that was soon emanating from the
unicorn's lungs and throat told me otherwise.
Smoke carrying with it a terrible stench was coming from her hooves
which were bubbling. The unicorn
screamed and my mind was filled with images of her muggle cousins being boiled
down at the knackers yard and yelling to me for clemency. "Help me," Boxer mouthed, his
throat failing as it filled with blood that foamed out of his mouth; a
bloodshot eye looking into mine and petitioning for intervention.
And all I could think to do was run. If I ran it wouldn't be happening. Nothing could be real if I couldn't see or
hear it.
So I tore my eyes and ears away and turned around to
leave. And instead encountered the most
beautiful woman I have ever seen. She
was completely clad in green.
No comments:
Post a Comment