The Helfenschwein
reached up a hand (he had human-type hands rather than front hooves) before
picking John up and gently placing the ‘helfen’ maus on his leaf. He then stood, with some effort, and walked
toward the magical waterfall. As he
approached the water began to gush out while Schinezzelwort levitated in order
to shower the mud away.
Once done,
the water stopped completely and a plain brown, wizard’s style, robe appeared
on Schnizzelwort’s body. I’d like to say
it hung elegantly down to his trotters but, in actual fact, it seemed to be
clinging to the pig’s body for dear life.
Especially in the midriff area, and, as a consequence, only came down to
his knees.
Then
Schnizzelwort floated across the mud pool towards myself and John and spoke for
the first time: “Good day to you gentlemen and what can I do for you today?”
He sounded
much posher than I had expected. I’d
been imagining a German accent but expecting Somerset.
By the time
he had finished speaking he was standing next to me, coming up to my shoulders. As I explained my quest -cum-hobby he sat
down, again with some effort, and beckoned me to sit down opposite. John jumped up onto my back and came to rest
on my shoulder.
“Quite a
task you have set for yourself, young man,” Schnizzelwort informed me when I
was done, “My master, a wizard named Astrid, tried for some time to tame a
dragon. It drove her a little mad, I’m
sorry to report. But only a little,” he
smiled, “You seem stronger stock, though, my boy, much stronger to have gone on
so long as you have.”
I thanked
him and asked if there was any way he might be able to help. “Possibly, maybe, I’m sure I could have done
once. A wonderful potion I could have
made - to mesmerise, I think. Easily I
dare say. But, alas, I am no longer able
to help even myself.” Schnizzelwort
looked down and drummed his fingers wistfully on his stomach. “I need all fours,” his hands turned very
briefly to trotters, “to sniff out the constituents and my lazy bump prohibits
such activity. I would use magic but on
myself it is forbidden. Even now with my
master long gone. My apologies to you,
young sirs.”
“Then I
will help you also,” I told him firmly.
“Ein Helfermann,
eh?” he said thoughtfully, “And how would one help me, prey tell?”
“Isn’t it
obvious - an exercise regime! Your diet,”
I indicated the oak trees, “is probably healthy enough - you just eat too much
of it and need to work some of it off.”
“Hmph,” was
all Schnizzelwort could muster at first and he took quite a bit of convincing
but convince him I did. Ultimately he
wanted to help himself and I think he was desperate to be helpful again as
well, to have some sort of point to his life again. Retirement just didn’t suit him.
I started
to come out every morning and evening for a short run and to do some sit-ups
with Schnizzelwort. Gradually we did
more and more until he was ready to also try a little sport. For this we cleared Astrid’s garden, as
Schnizzelwort called it, and first kicked a ball about before knocking a
shuttlecock back and forth and finally, by playing Swingball™. On the weekends we would go on a hike
about the forest. This meant I got to
see the ancient wizard stones (unfortunately only wizards were allowed to use
these), the haunted lake, the wizard’s council, and to explore the ruined
houses of the other forest wizards.
It took two
months to knock Schnizzelwort into shape and not once did I see the
unicorn. Everyday I thought of her and
of abandoning Schnizzelwort to get back to my crackpot schemes. John kept telling me of more animals that
could help - trying to tempt me back to her.
Schnizzelwort, though, would talk the talk of the potion, what would go
in it and how we would use it and this helped me keep true to my word and help
the pig, ultimately to help myself.
Until,
finally, the Helfenschwein’s hands became trotters, his robes (now not so full
and seemingly longer) disappeared and he went down on all fours, proclaiming, “I
can do it again! I can walk au
naturel! It is marvellous, simply
marvellous! Thank you, thank you so
much. Now; let us begin!”
No comments:
Post a Comment