Attempts to Capture and Tame a Unicorn: (10) The Lasso

I grew up loving the Wild West.  I adored the movies and read books, ran around the garden with a cap gun, dreamed of being a pioneer - a proper old fashioned one - none of that cold vacuum of space crap - branching out through the unknown wastes bound for the green lands and coast on the other side whilst being careful to dodge the Indians along the way.  I was in love with it all until I learned how real it had all been.  Great bloody battles, buffalo extinction, theatres hung with scalps, cuddling up with influenza and the ghettos that gave birth to America.

Yet underneath in my veins still ran ideas of the peaceful cowboy, the shepherd of horses.  And when all this unicorn madness began, I took “cowboy lessons,” learned how to tie and toss a lasso, throwing it about the necks of horses and reeling them in, returning them to paddock.

At cowboy school at had been easy, peaceful, relaxing.  In the clearing it had already become a battle of wills.

At first the unicorn entered and grazed.  Then I entered , ready and equipped.  She looked up, startled and I let loose.  I am still sure to this day that the loop went over her head but rather than settle around her neck, it fell to the ground.  I reeled the rope back in quickly and she stepped back as it whipped past her forelegs.  I tried again with the same effect.  As I wound up the rope a second time the unicorn started to walk away.  I failed again, the rope seeming to fall through the unicorn’s mane and throat.  Again I brought the lasso back to me, confused, my ‘shooting’ had always been much better than this.

Soon the unicorn was running around the edge of the clearing as I tried to loop the damn rope around her neck.  Again and again I threw, getting more and more angry, my face reddening, my palms sweating, my chest tightening with anxiety as the rope kept on doing the impossible.  I got more frustrated at my complete inability to do something I had done so many times before.  Agitation finally getting the better of me, I threw the whole lasso at that bitching, glorified horse - the loop flew around the unicorn’s neck, she reared up, cheering in victory, and ran into the woods, the rope trailing behind her.