It was a horrid, murky place to work, nothing was ever clean, it was always cold, the electrics were the worst, I’m surprised no one ever died; on site that is, most there were already dead given we harvested human corpses and took out their souls. Corpse parts for the doctors, to keep the live ones living; souls for the Archives of Everything and Encyclopedia of Everyone. Crooks forced it out and I, Shank, caught it, got it in the bottle. Someone else further down catalogued and stored and whatnot- we were just the practical people, the Corpselarks of Afterwards.
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Version 2:
It was a horrid, murky place to work, nothing was ever clean, it was always cold, the electrics were the worst, I’m surprised no one ever died; on site that is, most there were already dead given we harvested human corpses to take out their soul. Some parts went to keep the live ones living but the soul was for the Archives of Everything and Encyclopedia of Everyone. Crooks forced it out and I, Shank, caught it, got it in the bottle. Others further down catalogued and stored and whatnot- we were just the practical people, the Corpselarks of Afterwards.
*
Version 2:
It was a horrid, murky place to work, nothing was ever clean, it was always cold, the electrics were the worst, I’m surprised no one ever died; on site that is, most there were already dead given we harvested human corpses to take out their soul. Some parts went to keep the live ones living but the soul was for the Archives of Everything and Encyclopedia of Everyone. Crooks forced it out and I, Shank, caught it, got it in the bottle. Others further down catalogued and stored and whatnot- we were just the practical people, the Corpselarks of Afterwards.
Written for Friday Fictioneers from the following picture prompt:
Really inventive - fantastic names! Only a slight quibble. In the middle you talk about souls (plural), but then move straight onto it (singular) which is a little confusing.
ReplyDeleteClaire
I like quibbles, quibbles are good. I see what you mean, it is strange indeed. Especially, as it tends to be said that people have one soul and I've made it sound like they have lots!
DeleteI really liked your one this week with the squirrels- and thanks for the Opening Lines advice, I've been trying to think up a story for that too.
Don't lose 'Corpse parts...' will you!
ReplyDeleteI like the first version. If it's Shanks speaking I think it can be a rough round the edges, a bit like speech. And Corpse parts fits the inventive stuff like the word Corpselarks...I think anyway. You can lose spontaneity in editing for technical stuff.
Anyway I think this really has legs. A bit neil gaiman, a bit angela carter...
I'm not sure if I'm in the company of two villains or misunderstood cogs in the works who might save my ancestors souls and let them go free.
PS What would you do with an illegal soul sold round the back of the museum? Smoke it? Sniff it? Inject it?
Thanks, I certainly had Mr Croup and Mr Vandemar from Neverwhere in mind when writing this - the workplace is a lot like their hospital basement. I like the idea of a stolen soul trade...
DeleteWhat an intriguing idea. I love your tone and pacing. A macabre story made palatable by the two main characters. Well told.
ReplyDeleteThank you
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